Hey, here is a hilarious forward I got, if only it could be true

Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at the way you've treated
California, and we've decided we're leaving.
We intend to form our own country, and we're taking
the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii,
Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,
Michigan, Illinoisand all the Northeast. We believe
this split will be beneficial to the nation,
and especially to the people of the new country of
New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahomaand all
the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom and Enron.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and
entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make
the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower
than the Christian Coalition's,
we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of
single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be
pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to
want all our citizens back from Iraqat once. If you
need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.

They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's
caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn
up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm
control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water,
more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92
percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent
of America's quality wines (you can serve French
wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese,
90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S.low-sulfur coal, all
living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy League and Seven Sister
schools, plus UCLA, Stanford, CalTech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have
to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans
(and their projected health care costs), 92 percent
of all U.S.mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent
of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush
Limbaugh, BobJonesUniversity, Clemson and the Universityof Georgia.

We get Hollywoodand Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states
believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale,
62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're
discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent
say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that
Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you
crazy bastards believe you are people with higher
morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too.
You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,
Author Unknown in New California.